This season has been an interesting one where I transitioned from an ordinary college student to a single adult working on the weekdays. Focus is my church’s single adult ministry and I like it a lot. We have our fun times but it’s not as reckless as the undergrads, hehe.

From the past bible studies of the spiritual disciplines, I think “Training vs Trying” was crucial to me. I could try all I want and fail and try again on repeat, but I wasn’t seeing any changes. Although I feel like breaking apart like a last strip of a rope, I’m holding tightly to train myself. I asked myself, why am I facing these trials that I never expected or anticipated, or rather those that I don’t want. My faith is being tested and it’ll need to stay firm and rooted.

Since work started, I’ve been having a hard time spending quiet times with God. I have no problem lifting up prayers for meals or listening to worship songs throughout the day, but I was lacking in prayer and reading the words. I’m training myself to be better and will get better. Instead of finding things to do when I’m left alone in quietness, I shall pray and read.

Doing nothing in selfish ambition is hard too. As often as I may start something with a selfless heart, wanting to receive acknowledgement or feel appreciated kicks in so fast and it’s not good.

Lord I pray that you would help me to live a life that I will not regret, in freedom with no shame or guilt. Allow me to wake up each morning with a joyful heart 🙂